Flaw of Online Communication

This is something that has been bothering me for a while now, increasingly as I see it cause conflict in my own life. Here I am in the online universe, I am on Facebook and have about 300 friends but how many of them, how many of you all do I truly know? In all reality I would probably have closer to 400-500 friends if I didn’t go though and delete people I never talked to or only met once, those random people who add you but then never speak to you or reply to your messages. I may be more introverted than extroverted, so communicating online does help to some extent because it gives me time to think about my words, to choose them carefully, though I try not to obsess over what I say or write. If I do, I normally do not post it or come back to it later. So what is this flaw? What is this huge negative thing about communicating online with things like e-mail, Facebook, twitter, and the like?

Face-to-face contact... Yes, actually speaking and communicating to people to their face. First the problem came with cell phone, then the ability to text, and now it’s the new smart phones - no one is ever paying attention to anyone else. All our free space in our time is not spent pondering what we will do later or taking time to observe and notice others, maybe strike up a random conversation with a stranger. No, instead it is spent pulling out our phones to call or text someone, to check Facebook, or play games. Our associations with others have gone from real to digital, digital with a profile pic next to it; and instead of a living personality it is all texting and online messages. We are missing people and each other and in doing this we are beginning to miss and loose ourselves.

Yes, I admit I am a Facebook addict. Luckily it would cost me more to have a new phone and internet so my phone is simple and I do not have the ability to be an addict online while I am at work or away from my home computer, so that helps - but I am still online when I am at home. I see the status updates and news-feeds rolling by and I message people about how life is going and ask if they want to hang out. Sometimes I would just prefer to speak to people on the phone but would really enjoy actually to be in the presence of other people. We are all not connected but disconnected somehow. In some way we all know one another but truly know no one at all. If we don’t take this seriously now and set out space and time for real in-person relationships when will it stop? How will it be in 5 or 20 years when technology keeps growing and expanding?

The final problem with communicating online is that it also brings out our insecurities sometimes, usually by accident. Little status updates tell our personal thoughts, blogs/notes show our inner thoughts broadcasted to the world, and regular flaws in communication between personality types and the sexes in general are intensified. Online there is no tone, no inflection, no facial recognition or body language to express what the other person is saying. All we have are words, which studies show are only 7% of communication, so by communicating online we miss about 93% of what is being communicated (http://www.robertphipps.com/articles/body-language-facts-and-stat-s.html).

In the end what I am saying is this: Ponder calling someone, or even better, attempting to hang out with other people, real and in-person. Is that hard to imagine? Why? In addition, when you hang out turn your cell-hone off or on silent (NOT VIBRATE) and if you cant resist the urge to check it every three seconds then leave it in your car or go without it for one day. Instead of letting technology control you why you don’t you try controlling it. Learn some self-control, learn not to be rude to others in person by checking you phone every five seconds, and learn to value the quality of the time when you are with a group or someone one-on-one. Let’s bring back real friendships, intimate relationships, ones that exist face to face and not merely online... not merely chatting across the digital spectrum of cyberspace

Lets Live Life in Creation again
And Live Life in the Digital a little less

~ Daniel
Additional Articles/info:
http://www.helpguide.org/mental/eq6_nonverbal_communication.htm
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/7898510.stm
http://media.www.tcudailyskiff.com/media/storage/paper792/news/2009/10/02/News/Text-Messaging.Could.Hurt.Ability.To.Read.Nonverbal.Cues-3790853.shtml
http://www.alternet.org/media/95629?page=entire
http://www.healthadel.com/internet-addiction-in-teens-with-psychosocial-disorders/

Thank You Friend

Hello Friend,

Every so often I sit am amazed at my life, those people in it who help me through the tough and rough times, as well as, laugh with me during the funny ones. This happened twice this past Sunday, once at Pioneer in Sunday School, Worship, and the new Members lunch and then again that night at a small group I am apart of at First Baptist Church. Sometimes I feel down but am happy to know I have people who support and encourage me here in Abilene, both spiritually and emotionally. I have good friends and most of them are not fickle, even if we are not best friends, I feel they see a part of me - one seeking Christ.

Sometimes though, I try not to be overly spiritual (or come across that way at least). As a called-minister or older-christian I never want to think or even act like I have all the answers. Last night at the small group we were talking about gifts and while I know I do have the spiritual gift of pastor/shepherd it is something I haven't really got to develop a lot, not in the ways I would have liked thus far. I have more developed myself through teaching, discernment, encouragement along with trying to work on my abilities in music. However, writing is something that has become a passion of mine, something that has developed since middle school, which was also the exact time I began to feel a call to ministry. Apparently, from what I have read in Adam McHugh's book "Introverts in the Church", people who are more introverted express their thoughts better through writing and also normally have a sort of spiritual journal, something else I have been doing either on paper or online since my freshmen year in college sometime in 2001-2002. I actually have about seven full notebooks now... Somehow my blogs/notes have crossed between something of my everyday experiences and those spiritual journal entries I would write. Sometimes I am not sure if I am too personal or too open, other times not open enough. Especially when it comes to your personal experiences with sin, specifically secret sins, it is difficult to express the agony and anguish one deals with when they try to follow Christ and lay behind the gossip, slander, malice, lust, anger, bitterness, pride, envy, jealousy, their past... and all the other little and big things that keep us from God and hinder our growth.

I guess I write this to say thank you to all my friends who are there for me, who see me in a way that not many people see others anymore today. You don't just see me online or through a text or just through a phone call but as a brother in Christ, as a fellow Christ-follower. And even if I don't say it often I am truly thankful and want you to know that I pray for every one of you... maybe not every day but I am mindful of you and pray for your growth and that you find your gifts and use them for God's glory, finding a niche, a ministry, some outlet to let the light of Christ shine through you.

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. -Hebrews 12:1

Your Brother in Christ,
Daniel

My Dark Night of the Soul

Since my undergrad I have heard of the book and notion "Dark Night of the Soul" written by St. John of the Cross, which I read and finished this week. I believe at some points we all experience some kind of depression, maybe spiritual depression where for a while we cannot seem to find God. In this time we feel disconnected but then God shows up again quickly and we are glad to know and feel his presence once again. In the Dark Night; however, this time of distance and almost a spiritual banishment from God is a much longer period of time.

“It plunges him into darkness and causes him affliction, distress, as does the sun to the eye of the weak; it enkindles him with passionate yet afflictive love, until he be spiritualized and refined by this same fire of love; and it purifies him until he can receive with sweetness the union of this infusion…” – pg. 147

Personally, I feel as if about the last two years have been a Dark Night to me, mostly because I am very confused by so many things in my life right now and God doesn’t seem to be giving me any clarity. I feel like I do not get anything out of the spiritual disciplines like I did before. I read books but their pondering and answers feel hallow or misplaced. I pray but feel as if there is no response, as if God has left the other end and I am sometimes merely speaking to myself. I feel I have been devoted and spent seven years in higher education and deserve something better than working a minimum wage job and merely surviving. I have tried to stay pure and find myself alone and many times doubtful I will find a girlfriend, if ever marry.

I sometime despise myself for even thinking I deserve a better job, a better life, a wife and kids someday because it fosters the notion that our devotion to God is based off of what we can get and not based on who God is, giving him glory and remaining in the hope Christ gives us for a good future. But should the good future always be after death? I don’t have to be rich but do I have to be poor, or barely getting by all the time.

“For this night is gradually drawing the spirit away from its ordinary and common experience of things and bringing it nearer the Divine sense, which is a stranger and alien to all human ways.” – pg. 131

I know this time will help me in the future; it really humbles an already humble person in my mind to go through such a time. The Dark Night; however, is supposedly given to those who are faithful, a time in which they are purged or purified before God. During this time they reassess their priorities, fixing the way they perceive their faith and also purifying them from whatever questionable and habitual sins they still have roaming around in their life and in the recesses of their mind.

"Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will." - Romans 12:1-2

I feel like David crying out to God saying "How Long, Oh Lord?"... I feel like Abraham being taken from the land where I grew up. I feel like David trying to maintain purity and hoping I don’t fall in a world that spews lust, sex, and pornography at me instead of the godly love found in purity. I feel like Moses saying I cannot speak and like Jeremiah questioning my age and experience. I feel like Adam blaming Eve for my problem because I can’t seem to get over the wounds inflicted on me emotionally from past relationships. I feel like Solomon asking for wisdom except I seem to have no where to use this wisdom besides with friends, who seem few, many times also too busy, everyone is busy... busy… busy, trying to survive and keep up. Everyone is tired, people are underpaid, and the world begins to seem like a dim dark place. This is the Night and those who go through it are frazzled, scared, nervous, doubtful, and perplexed. However, they are not suicidal, nor do they think this darkness will last forever. They know, I know this time will end... that perseverance and trust is key, for if I told others to have faith and trust God in trials and suffering and then did not myself, wouldn’t I just be another hypocrite?

So I still open up the word, though sometimes it is difficult. I find inspiration, sometimes just enough to move forward and other times enough to ease my mind and grant me peace for short time. I go to church and worship God because he is God and is worthy despite nothing in my life really advancing. I listen to sermons about God's will, though I currently only have a foggy vision with no clear direction or purpose. I pray because I love my God and know he hears me even if I cannot hear Him. I try to pray for others because it makes me feel connected to the greater body and helps me know God is working in the life’s of others and even though I cannot feel it, he is currently also working in me. I try to make new friends, but sometimes do not know whether our friendship is reciprocal or the other just doesn’t want to hurt my feelings. I try to push back the arrows from Satan regarding rejection and the notion that I am not good enough in regards to both ministry and dating, by trying to have an open mind to what ministry is and to invest in friendships. I sometimes wonder if I am playing it safe or am I really pushing myself. I try to rid myself of those habitual sins also, wondering if I am trying hard enough or does God’s grace and love understand this struggle I have between my spirit and flesh.

“But having very little satisfaction with themselves; they consider all others as far better, and usually have a holy envy of them, and an eagerness to serve God as they do…. Wherefore, holding themselves as of little worth, they are anxious that others too should thus hold them, and should despise and depreciate that which they do. And further, if men should praise and esteem them, they can in no wise believe what they say; it seems to them strange that anyone should say these good things of them.” – pg. 42-43

“They are too much embarrassed to confess their sins nakedly, lest their confessors should think less of them, so they palliate them and make them appear less evil, and thus it is to excuse themselves rather than to accuse themselves that they go to confession." – pg. 41

“If we claim to have fellowship with him yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live by the truth. But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin. If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. If we claim we have not sinned, we make him out to be a liar and his word has no place in our lives.” – 1st John 1:6-10

“And do this, understanding the present time. The hour has come for you to wake up from your slumber, because our salvation is nearer now than when we first believed. 12The night is nearly over; the day is almost here. So let us put aside the deeds of darkness and put on the armor of light.” – Romans 13:11-12

St. John of the Cross ends his book with a few sections regarding the happiness that comes after this Dark Night. His words bring joy to my heart during this troubled time, they give me hope and help me persevere thinking of the day I will come out of this darkness that seems to be clouding my life. I also hear the encouragement from friends but appreciate and value time spent over words given, I appreciate stories of hope and joy regarding God working in others rather than a quickly quoted scripture that’s supposed to magically make it all ok. And beyond all of this I still and will always love God and his son Jesus because he first loved me, he gave his life, and nothing could ever stop me from pursuing my call, from desiring to express that love in and through my life. My situation may be dark but I know the light of Christ has and will always pierce the dark corners of our souls and his glory will be shown in each of us if we are willing go be broken, be willing to follow, be willing to obey whatever the cost.

“Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.” – 2nd Corinthians 4:16-18

“There will be no more night. They will not need the light of a lamp or the light of the sun, for the Lord God will give them light. And they will reign for ever and ever.” – Revelation 22:5

~ Daniel

Related Website:
http://www.hissheep.org/deliverance/the_dark_night_of_the_soul.html

Blunt Blog: Calling?

Let's start off first by abandoning distractions, the ones we so often use that distract us from the quiet in life, the ones that we use to fill our own emptiness and procrastinate our ability to have any type of quality time for self reflection and listening to God. This blog, after all, is about calling, and if we do not have ears to hear, then we might as well have no ears at all (Jeremiah 5:21, 6:20; Ezekiel 12:2; Matthew 11:15; Acts 28:27; 2nd Timothy 4:3). So turn off your music, turn off your TV, turn off your I-pod, your video games, stop talking on your cell phone, and stop texting for just five seconds...

Well, after a few months of not having a church home I finally decided to become a member of a local church. I struggled with this, as I did before I was youth minister at VBC, not because I was unsure about the church (which is great) but because I was unsure if becoming a member meant settling, meant being comfortable and maybe never looking for another ministry job. But I figured it was time to be devoted and committed to a church and this one seems like it may really help me grow and develop. In fact, I am already likely to lead a small five-minute devotional at a basketball tournament come February.

See, my problem is I feel compelled that the only successful way to validate my calling is to be in a full-time ministry position. I have heard people say otherwise and agree on some level but it just seems like I validate myself as a minister when I am in a paid position to be honest (as do others). But is it the church who calls me? Is it the members of this or that church that should validate my calling? It is God, right? I got to seriously thinking about how many of the prophets and even Jesus were not validated in many of the “churches”. They did not fit. Perhaps I do not fit into a church ministry role or perhaps just have not found the right church? In Ecclesiastes it says there is a time to speak and a time to be quiet (1:7)... perhaps this has been my time to be quiet, to stop my babbling about me and my wants and listen to what God is saying for a change.

Currently I have no church ministry, no license, and no ordination - but do these mean I am not called? Surely not! Maybe it means these are things I need to work on, maybe it is just not time, or maybe my calling does and never will involve these things. Even my diploma, B.A., and Masters Degree sit on the floor in my apartment gathering dust (See Matthew 6:19-21). I am not as concerned with the papers as the time and quality they have put behind me. But they are merely pieces of paper and the real change has been experience and the changes in my life and heart as a person, Christian, and minister.

And in the end we are all called to do something, we are all called to different ministries, both inside and outside of the church. We have too much emphasis on the minister who preaches from the pulpit and not enough respect for the second-grade school teacher who devotes her life to children every day. We have a lot of respect and services for those who go on International Mission trips but do not show as much love to those who drive vans around town and deliver food to the homeless. Calling and Ministry are so much broader than I can imagine... than you can imagine. Calling and ministry is using your heart, your talent, your self for God.



What is your calling and ministry?

~ Daniel

Pic:
http://i61.photobucket.com/albums/h56/twodogs_photos/call.jpg
http://manacled.files.wordpress.com/2009/09/four_steps_to_hearing_your_call.jpg