This got me to thinking how we conduct ourselves around people, around our friends, our family, and our other social circles in life. I think that even here on the internet we interact differently, we put on a mask to hide who we really are: updating statuses, defining ourselves by the movies, TV, and music we listen to. However, I think for most of us we edit these things to make sure we are perceived a certain ways. We leave out music others might find lame or maybe movies we know we should not like but do anyway. Sometimes we send messages to people when we leave comments or do not reply to messages. We have been and are always creating an image of our self to others, not only of how we view our self but also on how we view them as well. So, it is both how we perceive self and how we perceive our self in relation to others. We are constantly defining and redefining our friendships, those who are close and not so close to us. Of course at the same time this is being done to us from others as well. The hope of course is that we are not caught in the middle, in that spot where we cut off people, only to be found cut off ourselves as well.
Ah, but now I am rambling and your brains are hurting. But that is ok, because I wanted that to happen and my brain hurts now as well, lol. I am saying all this because I think when I write sometimes people get freaked out by some of my honesty, by some of the masks I take off, trying to let people see true glimpses of myself, and hopefully allowing people to take a look at themselves and perhaps shed some of their masks as well. My theory is that most people walk around in masks all the time, not really letting others in. Mostly, of course, this is a defense mechanism because they have been hurt and scared in the past, so when given the chance to open up or reach out they relent, they digress, and they retreat into their shell and behind their mask. Of course these people are not hermits and most do not notice this because so many people wear these masks. I think that people like me who try to uncover these masks and see real faces challenge the stereotypes; they want to get beyond generality and into a more unique and deeper friendship and connection with others.
I try to do this through my writing but even more-so in my interactions in life. Sure I am still more introverted than extroverted but I am who I am and to be anything otherwise would be letting myself go, creating some mask to be accepted by others while at the same time loosing who I am and loosing real and vital connection with people and replacing those with shallow and fake relationships.
The only thing I want to add is that I try to be open in my writing but these are just parts of me, glances of me, just as one only knows aspects of friends each new time they speak together. The only thing I regret is that in my writing my humor never seems to come out... but maybe that is because humor comes across in an odd way online, and perhaps it takes exceptional writing to accomplish such a feat. So, I will stop ranting and leave you with a quote and some questions:
“Do you not know that there comes a midnight hour when every one has to throw off his mask? Do you believe that life will always let itself be mocked? Do you think you can slip away a little before midnight in order to avoid this? Or are you not terrified by it? I have seen men in real life who so long deceived others that at last their true nature could not reveal itself;... In every man there is something which to a certain degree prevents him from becoming perfectly transparent to himself; and this may be the case in so high a degree, he may be so inexplicably woven into relationships of life which extend far beyond himself that he almost cannot reveal himself. But he who cannot reveal himself cannot love, and he who cannot love is the most unhappy man of all.” - Soren Kierkegaard
“Clowns wear a face that's painted intentionally on them so they appear to be happy or sad. What kind of mask are you wearing today?”
Do you ever feel like Life is a Masquerade Ball with everyone, including yourself, hiding behind a kind of facade? How do we find our face and drop the masks we wear?
Till We Have Faces
Life is Just a Masquerade…
~ Daniel
Pics:
http://www.newmoon.uk.com/ritual/masks.jpg
http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1198/1277257951_8f94b72b35.jpg?v=0
