Short Blog: On Loving Your Enemy

Scripture:

Matthew 5:43-45a, “You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven."

Thought:

Enemy is defined as “a person who feels hatred for, fosters harmful designs against, or engage in antagonistic activities against another; an adversary or opponent.”* We often think of the enemy as the person acting out against us. What about how we treat others? Do we have ill thoughts towards those who are different from us? Is someone too rich or too poor? Maybe we do not agree with their beliefs or politics. Maybe we find them annoying or we are envious.

Action:

Examine your speech and actions towards others this week. Seek to find out where you are at odds with others, harboring negative feelings and thoughts. Then, pray to God to change your heart. Talk to that person and see them as a child of God. Pray God gives you wisdom in your daily interactions with that person this week.

Prayer:

This week Lord, help us to see with Your eyes and love with Your heart. We can name those who have wronged us easily, but can we take the next step. Help us to take the step from merely praying for them on our knees to having a conversation with them. Help us to love as Jesus loved. Challenge us in this, to truly love our enemy. A-men.

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* http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/enemy

This is something I wrote for work and wanted to share on my blog.
Have a good one!

~ Daniel Brockhan

Modern-Day Pharisees

There is a lot of judgment in the church, a lot of holier-than-thou thinking across all denominations in the Christian church. We Christians like to set our self as different from the Jews in that we are under grace and not under the law. And yet we are blind, blinded by our own arrogance and self-righteous attitudes, in our individualistic and materialistic thinking. We are very concerned with us, how great we are doing, how well others see us… or at least how great others perceive us to be.

We have taken this thinking into our churches.
We have taken this thinking into our faith communities.
We have taken this into our personal time between us and God.

We, who once were so taken aback by the unlimited love and grace of God, who worked so hard to "attain" where we are spiritually, so often have the urge to lead other people into our own journey of faith, instead of their own… to tell them our way, our belief, our journey is the only correct way and route.

How do we do this?

In the church, this isn’t usually done directly but indirectly and passively. It begins when children are young and told not to question those in authority, the elders; then over time it seeps into us as we are teenagers and told things like we should never watch rated-R movies or listen to Rock music no questions asked. We are told certain things are secular and certain things are sacred.

No Discussion.

 

This is How it Begins.

Then as we get older we see how some other members of the church are involved in so many programs and it is suggested that we too come to the church multiple times a week. Forget your personality, your life, and your personal callings and growth; you are told this will be good for you, the church, make you happy, and grow you closer to God. This is a lie. Certainly getting more involved in church is never wrong; however, you can also suffer from the Martha complex of believing that busy-ness equals greater spirituality and maturity (LK 10:38-42). Not so. Jesus told Martha to look and learn from Mary. There must be a balance there and a question regarding our motivations when being so involved, are we feelings called by God or do we want others to see us doing spiritual things.

To some who were confident of their own righteousness and looked down on everyone else, Jesus told this parable: 10 “Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. 11 The Pharisee stood by himself and prayed: ‘God, I thank you that I am not like other people—robbers, evildoers, adulterers—or even like this tax collector. 12 I fast twice a week and give a tenth of all I get.’13 “But the tax collector stood at a distance. He would not even look up to heaven, but beat his breast and said, ‘God, have mercy on me, a sinner.’14 “I tell you that this man, rather than the other, went home justified before God. For all those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.” – Luke 18:9-14

Then a person stands up in front of church and speaks about their hour long quiet time reading and studying scripture each day, followed by a four hour long prayer time. Forget that this man is retired and decided to do this personally, we are swept up in the image of doing something so sacred for so long, as if it is something we cannot attain but strangely find ourselves feeling guilty for not spending so much time in the word and prayer ourselves. Forget that we helped our friend move into their new place last weekend. Forget that we have have work or some of us have children to attend to every day.

It continues.

I was once in a group where I let it be known I didn’t not have a passport, which is no big deal for me, since I don’t particularly have money for any fancy vacations and haven’t ever heard God calling me to a foreign country. Well, someone in the group who has a heart for missions expressed verbal and emotional disapproval on how a minister “should” have a passport because he "should" be doing international missions. This happened in front of a group of friends, some who had been on mission and some who had not. I just answered that I have never been called to go on the mission field. I don’t think she agreed that was a valid excuse, likely thinking I was running from God and being selfish.

Let me say this:
When foreign missions are more important than local missions, our community suffers.

Think about that. Let it seep in...

Lastly, an example from my youth minister days. I once had an older male member of the church come and ask me if he could be my mentor. he told me at a very vulnerable and difficult time in my own life, that he saw how I was hurting and could help me, help me to get myself in order, to even help me financially, but I'd have to accept his mentor-ship, his leadership, basically his right-ness. I told him I would think about it but couldn’t get over the sick feeling in my gut telling me this wouldn’t be a good thing.

Honestly, I’ve only ever had an official mentor except for one semester in college and then once in seminary for a class. Never own my own have I had a mentor. I've had friends and family, brothers and sisters in the faith who I sought for advice, but never one person.  I find my learning from CS Lewis, Lee Strobel, Richard J. Foster, Richard J. Foster, Francis Chan, Brian McLaren, Tony Campolo, and the like - these are my teachers. A mentor is a person wants to make you a mini-them but a spiritual director, according to men like Foster, is a person who comes alongside you, sees your gifts, and helps you develop those gifts and mature in your faith. I have many, not one, who help me in this role.

In that sense though, aren’t we all spiritual directors to one another, helping to encourage one another to strive forward, to persevere in our faith. At least, isn’t that what we should be? How do we get this wrong? Why do we want to put our walk, our answers, our thinking upon others and unpack that as right spirituality? Shouldn’t we be using Jesus as the example, not ourselves?

Have you ever met a Modern-Day Pharisee?
Have you ever caught yourself becoming or being one towards someone else?
What happened?

~ Daniel Brockhan

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Who Do You Want to Become?

Most people will say life's biggest question is pertaining to ones faith or ones purpose in life; however, it has occurred to me over the last few weeks that the big question might be this:

Who do you want to become?

I am not talking about a career or job. I am talking about character, about the choices we make each and every day that reflect and show who we are as a whole person. Some of these choices only we are aware of, perhaps they are bad habits, addictions, lies, gossip, or manipulating others. Despite the secrecy, we are aware of these choices and usually we are aware of their danger. We pursue such choices out of selfish desire. Is that who we wish to become? Do we wish to be known as a selfish individual, only looking out for us, even if it is in secret?

The choices we make every day prove who we truly are, our friends know, we know, and for those who are religious (like myself) we can be sure that God knows. I think most of the time we think we are fooling others, when the only person we are fooling is ourself.

Therefore, if we want to become someone better, someone with more passion, more integrity, more wisdom, more character, this begs the question: What are you doing, first, that might hinder such progress? The second question is what really matters: What good are you pursuing to change yourself for the better. The second question here is really the most important, for we can desire to change our old habits, we can even get rid of them; however, unless we actively seek good, some better change, we will go into default, we will go back to old habits.

So, the question today is, who do you want to become? Are you truly happy with the way you are right now? Are their relationships you could mend? Friendships you could create? Are you married and more selfish than you ought to be? Are you single and find yourself seeking validation from others, instead of finding your own identity as an individual and as a child of God? Do you have dreams you want to pursue and follow? What is hindering you? What has stopped you from seeking them, from seeking any of these things.

This week, push yourself further, get rid of the old things that hinder you and begin to put on a new image, a better you, one that fits you more and discard and throw away the old remnants of your past self that serve you no longer.

Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator. - Colossians 3:9-10

This week, ponder: Who do you truly want to become?

~ Daniel Brockhan

Self-Acceptance is NOT an Excuse...

I was watching a video on YouTube this morning in which two females were doing a video chat about self-image issues. At one point in the video the one who was larger spoke about accepting how this is who she is and that there are men who find her attractive, basically she accepts herself as overweight, someone who deserves to be loved for who she is inside.

My response: Yes AND No.

Harsh Truths Coming...

Yes, you deserve to be respected as a human but no, self-acceptance is no reason to justify being overweight. I understand the struggle. I was 325 lbs at one point, am now 100 lbs down, and still have some more weight to go until I reach my goal.

See: Celebrating 100 Pounds Lost

We are the sum of our choices.

I felt the same way for so long. I thought others would and should love me for who I am, not for how I look. But in all honesty, I was lying to myself, trying to justify my poor choices; choices of not exercising, not eating right, and basically not caring for my health and well-being.

I told myself that I was just a person with a larger body structure, that there are women who would find me attractive for who I was inside and on the outside.

But here is what I found out:

Losing weight set me on a course of self-revelation. I found that as I lost weight, not only did others see me and associate with me more, but I also gained greater confidence in the process. I found out I could tackle a huge obstacle and succeed. This was something I did on my own, something I decided for myself to change.

Losing weight taught me that there might be some other aspects of myself to work on as well, like taking more risks and stretching myself. Over the course of the last few years I have tried to do things that challenge me and pull me outside of the box I was stuck inside for years, most notably moving out of state for work, being more intentional about meeting others, and regarding dating.

However, weight is not the only issues this is affected by this idea of “complete self-acceptance”, because there are many other areas where we as people tend to place blame on others instead of being proactive ourselves.

One can say: I shouldn’t have to buy an alarm system or lock my door because people shouldn’t steal. I shouldn’t have to wear certain clothes because people should control themselves. I should be able to walk alone at night because people shouldn’t want to take advantage of another simply because it is dark.

The truth is bad people exist, temptations exist, sin and evil are very real. We would be wise to learn to be both defensive and offensive about life, protecting ourselves from others who may harm us and using it as a way to do some difficult but needed self-critiquing as well.

I found this out by losing weight, by taking control of a part of my life I felt I had no control over, something that seemed impossible but I decided was important to change. I now am a better person physically and emotionally, not to mention spiritually for tackling this issue.

See: Weight Loss, Self-Denial, and Deeper Spirituality

So, while self-acceptance and self-worth do matter, these things should never be an excuse to keep harming ourselves, to continue bad habits, or to treat others in a poor manner, stating “this is who I am, like me or don’t like me, I don’t care.”

Hear me when I say this: If you do not care, others will likely not care.

Apathy is a life-stealing characteristic.

However, being engaging, challenging, passionate, focused, and purposeful; these are qualities we should all have and develop.

If we care for our self and are working toward betting ourselves, others will see that, appreciate us, and desire to be around us.

Have you ever dealt with weight?

Have you dealt with self-image/self-acceptance issues? How so?

Do you find yourself apathetic toward life or in pursuit of it?

~ Daniel Brockhan

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