Looking Back at 2013

 

Here is my last blog post regarding resolutions:

2011: Resolutions for the Upcoming Year

I do not really make resolutions every year, at least as a habit. I find that life can change a lot, so goals need to be flexible; yet, we must have some purpose or focus lest our life become meaningless and monotonous, day by day with no reason or clarity.

2013 has been a great and insane year for me. I went from being a second year chaplain resident to being a staff chaplain. I went from being two hundred and ninety-five pounds to two hundred and twenty-five this past October (making my total weight loss since Feb. 2012 one-hundred pounds). I moved from Lubbock, TX to Buffalo, NY. I went from having a good support system and then having to start all over again.

I came to Buffalo with my car packed as full as I could get, leaving beds and chairs behind. I mailed my books, made sure to keep my computer, DVD's, and my guitar. I sold all my furniture. I drove over 1,500 miles by myself over the course of an entire week, driving through horrible rainy weather, and staying in hotels all by myself (Thank goodness for my GPS and Kindle Fire!).

I am not saying these things to induce any form of pity; instead I say them to express my strength. A strength I did not know that I ever had before this time. I never imagined I would move so far, that I would accomplish so much, and that I would do it all on my own. Certainly, I had friends help me, but once I left Texas I was all by myself, except for updating everyone through Facebook and blog posts.

As I have been here I have gone back and forth between feeling accomplished, while at the same time having feelings of aloneness, seeking community. Yes, I have my hard days when the distance between my family and friends in Texas and this place does weigh on me.

I did accomplish losing one-hundred pounds. While I am still so excited, the last two months since I met that goal have been grueling. Sometimes I just crave food, while other times because of the wintery weather, I cannot workout. Still, I have stayed strong and haven’t gained back. If I can just resist pizza more often and stick to eating more veggies and fruits, I know I can get to my next goal of weighing two hundred pounds.

Losing that weight though, made me reexamine my life, forced me to look at things that I thought were impossible in my life and begin to start taking steps forward. One of the areas I have been neglecting for years was having a daily time of reading the scriptures. I am happy to say that in November I started and have not missed one day since.

To some that might not seem like a victory; however, considering I haven’t had consistent times reading the scriptures like this since I was in middle school, I'd say that is an improvement! I find I am more focused and beginning to be more purposeful, seeking ways I can be involved in my growth, instead of just letting life pass me by day by day.

I am also currently working on my paperwork for Board Certification as a Chaplain. This is amazing, since in 2011 I was seeking if this is what I wanted to do with my life. Here I am now, working on being certified and loving what I do everyday; visiting patients, family, and staff.

My only ongoing request as I am here, and into 2014, is that God provide me with good friends here in this place. Friends who love life, have a sense of humor, and don’t mind speaking about the serious aspects of life. Friendship is so important and those who have lived in one place, who have had great friends all their life, cannot really understand what it feels like to move so far from everyone and everything you have ever known.

I also found a church after months of searching. It is hard to express in words; yet I do find that when I go to church, I truly do feel in community with my brothers and sisters in Christ. Truly the church is one spirit, the spirit of love, community, and faith founded and focused on Christ Jesus. Church, in every place I have moved to in my life, has helped me find solace during confusing and trying times.

I ask prayer for relationships to happen, deepen, and grow.

So, here is to 2014.

It is coming... are you ready?

Are you ready for something new and different?

Are you ready to cut out the past, the hurt, the old feelings or pain and start anew?

How did you life change in 2013?

What will you be changing or looking forward to in 2014?

~ Daniel Brockhan

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Plank Eye Syndrome

There is a serious syndrome in our churches, among the people who claim to be followers of Jesus the Christ. This syndrome leads to judgment, bitterness, hatred, malice, gossip, smugness, and all other manner of ill feelings towards others inside, and outside, of the church. How did so many of us get here?

I think somewhere among the verses speaking of being above reproach (1 Tim. 1:3:2) and trying to be perfect as Christ is perfect (MT 5:48), that we as Christians have forgotten that perfection is actually not possible. Why? Because even in the midst of the spirit of God inside of us, we are still very much persons of flesh, having a sinful nature still with us at this present time.

Have we so very soon forgotten that we too were once without Christ, each one of us, at some point was left to our own devices, our own sinful nature. We made a choice to follow Christ; however, the choice to follow does not mean we will not falter, that we will make incorrect decisions, assumptions, and judgments on others (and regarding ourselves).

There is a great divide between those who want to be conservative and hold firm to traditions and beliefs, while others cry out for freedom and liberation from all the rules, institutions, and chains they feel are causing them heavy burdens. As Christians, we forget that we no longer have to be bound by the things of this world, that we are now part of a different Kingdom where the lines are not drawn so plainly, except for the arrows pointing us in the direction of Christ, to seek his life, teaching, and pursue him first and foremost, beyond political parties and beyond judgments.

We forget that even Jesus let people walk away from him, like the rich young ruler (MT 19:16-22) or nine of ten men with leprosy (LK 17:11-19). Not to mention, that even the scripture of the woman caught in adultery (John 8:1-11), we see Jesus tell her to sin no more, and then we are left with no resolve. What happened to her? Did she change? Did she stay the same? I think we are left with questions because Christ is asking us:

Have you changed?

Have you stayed the same?

What difference have I made or am I making in your life?

Notice Jesus is asking us these questions. Asking you the question. Jesus is not telling us that we need to monitor everyone else, to make sure they are above reproach, staying pure, out of sin, and in line with everything we think, say, or do. No, instead Christ holds us accountable to him, to our own understanding and convictions.

With this understanding, we come to see that Jesus never once made anyone follow him. Jesus never once belittled someone for choosing something else, though perhaps he did feel sadness when they turned away. He respected their view, their choice to chose, figure out things out on their journey, and in their own time.

In addition, it was not the sinners or sick who Jesus had stern words for but the religious, those who seemed to find pride in obsessing with rules and oppressing others with religion and institution while forgetting the heart for God, pursuing God, and loving their neighbor as themselves (MT 22:34-40). And so in Matthew 7, we read this story:

 “Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye. - Matthew 7:1-5

Today, are you seeing your life clearly?

Do you find yourself judging others while neglecting your own issues and faults?

What are some things you might need to work on?

Where is God convicting you today?

~ Daniel Brockhan