In fact, as much as I don’t mind being in Lubbock, my
closest friends here have been my co-workers, who have been deep friends with
me in my ministry last year and this year. I have found friendships at church
as well, but unlike in Houston, Marshall,
or Abilene, so
far no best friends have surfaced. And the amazing thing is I survived my move
here from Abilene to Lubbock... and I have grown so much. I am
farther from friends and family than I have ever been. It was
hard. But I have grown leaps and bounds, for the better.
Actually, for a while I did plan on just staying in Texas, and who knows, I
might still. Until I get a job, not just interviews, it is really all up in the
air. But yes, at first thinking of moving so far was difficult for me, but the
thought of staying and taking some job that did not fulfill me really worried
me. Before I came to Lubbock
I worked two jobs, about 55-60 hours per week and made basically nothing. I was wearing
myself out to survive and was barely able to pay bills. If I can avoid that, I
will do it at all costs.
I would also really like to pay off as many of my student
loans in the next 5-10 years as possible. I am fine living simplistic. I really
enjoy renting and being single helps. I have no problem with living the way I have so I
may actually be able to pay off all my student loan debt (with a better paying
and professional ministry job) in those 5-10 years.
However, not all of this is financial; some of it is intellectual
and spiritual. Intellectually, when I was working retail, I knew everyday I was
not using my gifts and talents. I did learn how the other side lives and it did
afford me the opportunity to meet different people who were not in my
"Christian Bubble"; however, I longed so deeply to do ministry. I
long for that now. I long for it more than staying in Texas.
Lastly, I think of Abraham, who moved to a
foreign land, far away from what he knew. It was what was needed at the time. Moving far away may
be what I need. People ask me: How will you know it is God's will? I think of
God's will as generally open and sometimes specific, which means as a Christian
I am compassionate towards others, as an religious professional I seek out all open
and potential doors to serve, and as a person, that God wants good things for me,
but I must also do some work. And yet, somehow, after I have moved or gone
through a time of trial, in hindsight, I am often able to see God's plan unfolding,
but I do not think God articulates and plans every second of our life
beforehand. I think God is with us, guiding us, rejoicing and mourning with us through
our times of triumph and struggle.
So, I suppose I have surprised some of my family and friends
by being open to moving so far away... and the truth is I surprise myself too.
A few years ago I would have been too stuck in fear to move so far, but moving
to Lubbock and learning more about myself, I know that no matter where I am that God is
with me and I will always be connected with my dear friends and family. God
bless you all and prayers are appreciated. It brings me much peace facing such
a change to be washed in the prayers of the saints, the prayers of my dear family and friends.
~ Daniel Brockhan
Daniel - Trying this again. Prev comment was lost in cyberspace.
ReplyDeleteI sure wish I could guarantee you'll get a ministry gig that's well paying and rewarding/fulfilling. But its not easy unfortunately. I speak as one whose been through more than one fire on this front.
I get the thing about working retail, but I have to say - having worked both secular and so called 'Christian' (notice the so called, I'm not so sure Christian retail is really Christian - but that's for another time if you want to hear about it) retail, I'd take secular over what I've experienced and seen any day. But what I have now is all that I could get. I feel a great discordance but its been a very revealing and learning experience.
Our journey has been circuitous, and filled with what at times has seemed (seems) unbearable suffering and grief. Yes, God brings beauty out of ashes, but then you don't stop grieving the ashes, you grieve the ashes and celebrate the beauty at the same time. To make a long story short, at this point in our journey not only are we willing to move away from Texas, but to sell ALL of our stuff and move to a completely different country (where we hope to get Christie the medical care she needs that we haven't been able to get w/o insurance here in the states) - willing and eagerly!
There are no guarantees, but having chosen the path of missional living wherever that takes us - we're used to that. Actually, as older structures necessarily change in post-Christendom, the traditional 'guarantees' are going to become fewer and farer between.
We have lots of plans and hopes and dreams. Christie would like to get back into chaplaincy and spiritual care when she is healthy enough. I would like to teach and have a hand in church planting and spiritual direction and have some book ideas. Interestingly enough, as we've talked, and not just b/c of Christie's health (Texas weather is really bad for her) but for other reasons as well - we don't see ourselves ever coming back to Texas.
Like everything else, we're doing and discerning this next step of our participation in the missio dei on faith.
My apologies for rambling. Prayers and peace as you discern these next steps.
Thanks for the comment Dan! Sorry it took me a while to reply. For some reason Blogger didn't send me a notification.
DeleteWhile I do agree a lot of ministry positions probably underpay (like how teachers are underpaid), professional chaplaincy pays pretty well (I think it is because it is crisis ministry), at least compared to what I have been making the previous years. And if you have read my blogs for a while, you know some of the problems I ran into applying for parish ministry positions and being single. Being single has never been an issue in chaplaincy. But yes, I am still trying to be very wise, especially since chaplaincy is a salaried position. Any salaried position is good but you have to be wise and know a lot about the position before diving in. I have never taken part, but I have heard horror stories of people overworked for salaried positions.
I never knew you were interested in church planting or that your wife was interested in chaplaincy, that is pretty cool. Well, I do appreciate your thoughts and prayers as I take these next steps and I offer you mine as well as you and your wife take yours. Blessings Dan!
~ Daniel Brockhan