Moments That Define Us

I was speaking with a few of my coworkers over a meal a few weeks back about moments that define us. We were talking politics briefly and one of them said Bill Clinton was a great president. Now, overall, I do think he was a good president; however, I said he wasn’t great (nor will he be considered great) because of the sex scandal. Then he remarked that a person shouldn’t be defined by one mistake. I told him while that is true, the reality is that we are defined by what we do, not always who we are as a whole person. That instance with Clinton did not make him a horrible person but it did lessen his greatness and ability as president, using such power for his own purpose, lying, and the ways in which it affected his family most of all. He lost respect, and therefore, lost greatness.

I then asked if a preacher had an adulterous relationship, should he be forgiven or should he be fired. I mean, it was only one mistake, right? Does it make him a bad person? My friend answered that there is a difference and when I asked what was the difference he fell silent. The truth is simple, we are defined by what we do, by the things that happen to us, sometimes we have control over them and sometimes we do not.

Some of these instances, like the one with Bill Clinton, involve sin, or ways we hurt or cause harm to ourselves and others, usually for selfish reasons. I wouldn’t say any one sin, or a few instances of wrong, make someone a bad person, but over time the accumulation of sin, along with the desire of their heart, defines who they are as a person overall.

However, one has to realize there are always consequences, good and bad, to choices in life. Clinton had to be put on trial, just like a preacher caught in adultery would need to be fired. This isn’t to suggest there isn’t forgiveness or healing, but that those things come after the punishment. Besides, anyone who knows psychology is aware that most people do good or bad things based on reward and punishment, not simply from a desire to do good for themselves or for the good of the community.

Then there are the instances where we must go through things that define us. Maybe we feel we have the tendency toward gluttony, lust, anger, gossip, lying, or a whole host of other things. I am not even talking about the sin and action but the temptation to do these things, some sin that we find ourselves addicted to and trying to get over. I think we can define ourselves by the things we fight against instead of the things we fight for in our life.

Then there are the psychological disorders, one like anorexia, anxiety, bulimia, binge-eating, PTSD, depression, mania, and bi-polar disorder. One could group these, along with other addictions, such as alcohol, drugs, sex, or porn, but my point is that there is something in these people that clicks one day, either genetics and/or from their environment, and likely for the rest of their life they will struggle with this disease. Yet, if one has depression, do they define themselves by their struggle or by their victory? Are we the pieces of our life or the whole?

I guess that I am getting at is there are always those negative aspects of self that we deal with as individuals. I feel like oftentimes we identify ourselves by our failures and struggles than by our victories and all the other wonderful things about us. I wonder why we do this to ourselves.

Maybe you find yourself judging friends, maybe they are constantly seeking approval from the wrong people or you feel are on the wrong track. Instead of gossiping, maybe it is time to offer a helping hand or encourage them in the positive areas in their life.

Maybe you are your worst critic, always letting things slide or maybe you want things to be perfect but find life can be a mess. Perhaps you need to have some grace on yourself. Maybe you need to stop focusing on the negative aspects of your life and instead, improve and expand on the great things about yourself.

While we may have a tendency to feel the harsh moments define us, the beautiful ones define us as well. I think over time, if we would infuse our life with more good, positive, and beautiful things, we might just find those moments define us much more than our struggles and hardships. Perhaps, it is once we have gone through those tough times we can see the positive aspects of our life and self even more clearly.

Related Post: Defined by Christ, Not Sin

What moments in your life define you?
Are they hardships? Victories? Both?

~ Daniel Brockhan

Looking Back at 2013

 

Here is my last blog post regarding resolutions:

2011: Resolutions for the Upcoming Year

I do not really make resolutions every year, at least as a habit. I find that life can change a lot, so goals need to be flexible; yet, we must have some purpose or focus lest our life become meaningless and monotonous, day by day with no reason or clarity.

2013 has been a great and insane year for me. I went from being a second year chaplain resident to being a staff chaplain. I went from being two hundred and ninety-five pounds to two hundred and twenty-five this past October (making my total weight loss since Feb. 2012 one-hundred pounds). I moved from Lubbock, TX to Buffalo, NY. I went from having a good support system and then having to start all over again.

I came to Buffalo with my car packed as full as I could get, leaving beds and chairs behind. I mailed my books, made sure to keep my computer, DVD's, and my guitar. I sold all my furniture. I drove over 1,500 miles by myself over the course of an entire week, driving through horrible rainy weather, and staying in hotels all by myself (Thank goodness for my GPS and Kindle Fire!).

I am not saying these things to induce any form of pity; instead I say them to express my strength. A strength I did not know that I ever had before this time. I never imagined I would move so far, that I would accomplish so much, and that I would do it all on my own. Certainly, I had friends help me, but once I left Texas I was all by myself, except for updating everyone through Facebook and blog posts.

As I have been here I have gone back and forth between feeling accomplished, while at the same time having feelings of aloneness, seeking community. Yes, I have my hard days when the distance between my family and friends in Texas and this place does weigh on me.

I did accomplish losing one-hundred pounds. While I am still so excited, the last two months since I met that goal have been grueling. Sometimes I just crave food, while other times because of the wintery weather, I cannot workout. Still, I have stayed strong and haven’t gained back. If I can just resist pizza more often and stick to eating more veggies and fruits, I know I can get to my next goal of weighing two hundred pounds.

Losing that weight though, made me reexamine my life, forced me to look at things that I thought were impossible in my life and begin to start taking steps forward. One of the areas I have been neglecting for years was having a daily time of reading the scriptures. I am happy to say that in November I started and have not missed one day since.

To some that might not seem like a victory; however, considering I haven’t had consistent times reading the scriptures like this since I was in middle school, I'd say that is an improvement! I find I am more focused and beginning to be more purposeful, seeking ways I can be involved in my growth, instead of just letting life pass me by day by day.

I am also currently working on my paperwork for Board Certification as a Chaplain. This is amazing, since in 2011 I was seeking if this is what I wanted to do with my life. Here I am now, working on being certified and loving what I do everyday; visiting patients, family, and staff.

My only ongoing request as I am here, and into 2014, is that God provide me with good friends here in this place. Friends who love life, have a sense of humor, and don’t mind speaking about the serious aspects of life. Friendship is so important and those who have lived in one place, who have had great friends all their life, cannot really understand what it feels like to move so far from everyone and everything you have ever known.

I also found a church after months of searching. It is hard to express in words; yet I do find that when I go to church, I truly do feel in community with my brothers and sisters in Christ. Truly the church is one spirit, the spirit of love, community, and faith founded and focused on Christ Jesus. Church, in every place I have moved to in my life, has helped me find solace during confusing and trying times.

I ask prayer for relationships to happen, deepen, and grow.

So, here is to 2014.

It is coming... are you ready?

Are you ready for something new and different?

Are you ready to cut out the past, the hurt, the old feelings or pain and start anew?

How did you life change in 2013?

What will you be changing or looking forward to in 2014?

~ Daniel Brockhan

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Plank Eye Syndrome

There is a serious syndrome in our churches, among the people who claim to be followers of Jesus the Christ. This syndrome leads to judgment, bitterness, hatred, malice, gossip, smugness, and all other manner of ill feelings towards others inside, and outside, of the church. How did so many of us get here?

I think somewhere among the verses speaking of being above reproach (1 Tim. 1:3:2) and trying to be perfect as Christ is perfect (MT 5:48), that we as Christians have forgotten that perfection is actually not possible. Why? Because even in the midst of the spirit of God inside of us, we are still very much persons of flesh, having a sinful nature still with us at this present time.

Have we so very soon forgotten that we too were once without Christ, each one of us, at some point was left to our own devices, our own sinful nature. We made a choice to follow Christ; however, the choice to follow does not mean we will not falter, that we will make incorrect decisions, assumptions, and judgments on others (and regarding ourselves).

There is a great divide between those who want to be conservative and hold firm to traditions and beliefs, while others cry out for freedom and liberation from all the rules, institutions, and chains they feel are causing them heavy burdens. As Christians, we forget that we no longer have to be bound by the things of this world, that we are now part of a different Kingdom where the lines are not drawn so plainly, except for the arrows pointing us in the direction of Christ, to seek his life, teaching, and pursue him first and foremost, beyond political parties and beyond judgments.

We forget that even Jesus let people walk away from him, like the rich young ruler (MT 19:16-22) or nine of ten men with leprosy (LK 17:11-19). Not to mention, that even the scripture of the woman caught in adultery (John 8:1-11), we see Jesus tell her to sin no more, and then we are left with no resolve. What happened to her? Did she change? Did she stay the same? I think we are left with questions because Christ is asking us:

Have you changed?

Have you stayed the same?

What difference have I made or am I making in your life?

Notice Jesus is asking us these questions. Asking you the question. Jesus is not telling us that we need to monitor everyone else, to make sure they are above reproach, staying pure, out of sin, and in line with everything we think, say, or do. No, instead Christ holds us accountable to him, to our own understanding and convictions.

With this understanding, we come to see that Jesus never once made anyone follow him. Jesus never once belittled someone for choosing something else, though perhaps he did feel sadness when they turned away. He respected their view, their choice to chose, figure out things out on their journey, and in their own time.

In addition, it was not the sinners or sick who Jesus had stern words for but the religious, those who seemed to find pride in obsessing with rules and oppressing others with religion and institution while forgetting the heart for God, pursuing God, and loving their neighbor as themselves (MT 22:34-40). And so in Matthew 7, we read this story:

 “Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye. - Matthew 7:1-5

Today, are you seeing your life clearly?

Do you find yourself judging others while neglecting your own issues and faults?

What are some things you might need to work on?

Where is God convicting you today?

~ Daniel Brockhan

Celebrating 100 Pounds Lost: Part 3

Part 1: Here

Part 2: Here

Part Three
Admittedly, since I started this three-part series I have stayed around 225. Some of it had to do with me being sick and I think some of it was being tired. Not giving into all those cravings and exercising so much does start to take its toll on your body. I was also reading online that at certain weights your body will plateau, but this is also your body adjusting to a new weight. You will not be forever stuck.

Still, I have been working out most weeks at least three times the last month, except this week because I pulled my shoulder/upper back. I also have to come clean and admit I had pizza last night. I gave in but today for lunch I just had some oatmeal and a Slim-fast. I guess that is the way it works, when you fall you cannot just see it as a complete failure, get depressed, and quit; but to always get back up again and try to do and be better. Then, over time you can do something quite insane sounding and lose one-hundred pounds. I still have a hard time wrapping my mind around that number and the reality.

And I still have a ways to go....
So next week I am starting afresh, getting back on track.

My next goal weight is now 200!

Here is Part 3 of my video,
followed by my progression in food and exercise (for those who are interested).

Video: Part 3


Food Progression:
Original:
Sand-witches, Hot Pockets, Pop-Tarts, Chips, Whole Milk, Soda (Twice a Day).

First Progression:
Lean Pockets, Wheat Bread, 2% Milk, Soda (Once a day)

Second Progression:
Frozen Processed Chicken, Grain/Flat Bread, No Chips
Pinto Beans, Peas
Processed (Sliced Cheese) to Block Cheese
Eating Apples and Bananas.
Slim-fast (Weight Loss Shake)

Third Progression:
Baked Chicken/Lean Ground Beef
No Bread, No Milk/Cheese
Light Yogurt, Green Beans, Soda (Once a week)
Slim-fast (Weight Loss Shake)
Fruit Smoothies (Orange; Strawberry). - Can Add Kale
Cooking my own Soups and Chili's (Lean or No Meat). - Can Add Kale

Current Snacks:
Light Yogurt
Saltine Crackers
Pretzel Sticks
Apples
Bananas
Raisins (Regular and Yogurt Covered)
Peanuts (Sometimes Cashews)
Cinnamon and Peppermint Hard Candy

Exercise Progression:
Original:
None/Minimal Racquetball

First Progression:
2 Days a Week Cardio for 30 Minutes
Treadmill

Second Progression:
3 Days a Week Cardio for 45 Minutes
Treadmill

Third Progression:
4 Days a Week Cardio for 1 Hours
    *Treadmill & Racquetball

Fourth Progression:
4 Days a Week Cardio for 1.5-2 Hours
    *1 of 4 Days do strength training, included in overall time

Fifth Progression (Drastic Change in Diet to include Fruit/Veggies):
4 Days a week working out for 1-1.5 hours
    *2 Days Cardio (Elliptical - one hour)
    *2 Days Strength (Set, 30 minutes on Rower, Set, 30 Minutes on Rower, Final set)

Hope this helps!
Keep trying to be healthy!
Never give up!

The journey continues...

~ Daniel Brockhan