Hello, my name is Daniel… I am a Sinner…

I wonder if my last few blogs have been too open, too real? Can we be too open, too real? What is it about honesty that frightens us, when most people find honest or even blunt people, quite refreshing? I am so tired of the stigma that I have to be perfect, this set image because I am a minister or a seminary student. Yes, I have a responsibility to uphold the word of God and live a moral life; however, I also have the responsibility to live my own journey, and a journey leads to perfection and does not start from perfection. Why as Christians can’t we just admit we all have struggles and that we all sin, that we are imperfect. Isn’t that what the whole gospel message is for? When did we come to the place where we feel we must portray an image of perfection to be accepted, if anything, Jesus always seemed more accepting of those people called “sinner” and not those who seemed to “have it all together.”

 

I am a sinner. And my Savior is Christ Jesus. I am on this journey the same as anyone else, alongside my brothers and sisters, trying to help them, and being helped by them myself and by Jesus Christ. Jesus called his disciples his friends and so often I am saddened that in our churches, in these families, we have people on the outskirts of this so called family. No, it is not just the people deemed “unworthy” of the gospel because of how they dress or speak; it is also those who lead these churches, those who bear the responsibility of being an example of perfection. And the truth is that these people are not Jesus. I am not Jesus. Leaders will Fall. I will fall and stumble as well… Yet, Jesus remains my constant... and he should remain the constant and core of every Christian’s faith and belief. We trust in Jesus and not in any other person, no matter how perfect they may seem or how great a speaker they may be. We are all brothers and sisters in this journey, who all have our faults to work through with the guidance of the Holy Spirit and with the encouragement of our fellow Christians. It is not only those who seem “sinful” who need this encouragement but those who seem to have it together, both those who follow and those who lead need encouragement and need people alongside them, listening instead of judging, hearing instead of pointing an accusing finger.

I intended this blog to be about finding home... but it looks like something else came out in its place. Sometimes things need to be said and people need to be honest, never to be hurtful – but always to be helpful. Tonight I pray for all my brothers and sisters on the outskirts, both those who stick out like a sore thumb as abnormal in the church – but also for those who are leaders in the church, especially ministers, who feel they have to hide parts of themselves lest they be judged by everyone as something less than perfect, something less than “above reproach”. I pray that as Christians we would stop hurting and yelling at each other long enough to look into each others eyes and realize we are all in this journey of faith together, for none of us lives on an island alone. I pray that God forgive us for our lack of love that we have replaced with judgment, for the fact that in our churches we have to hide ourselves more than we open ourselves to one another. Perhaps the tide will change and we will see openness and honesty come about. I believe it is the only way we can witness to others… and the only way others will listen to our witness…

~ Daniel

Pic:
http://activerain.com/image_store/uploads/8/5/1/4/3/ar119056881934158.jpg

The Journey: My Current Life Theme

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. - Hebrews 12:1

Last night I was laying in my bed just thinking and pondering things as I tend to do... And I just cannot get over how life is so much like a Journey. Sometimes I liken it to Chess, because its not just the pieces involved, but where those pieces go on the board, and also the personality of the person you are playing against on the other end. In Chess, you must stay calm, try to see what is to come, but also must accept that you cannot change any past moves but only can change the progress of the game into the future. So it is with our own life, our own pathways, our own journey of life and of faith, and for those committed Christians we do not distinguish the two, for our life and our faith are so intertwined that to break them would mean utter chaos.

More recently, my journey has caused me times of struggle and trial at times, questioning or worrying about the future, about what moves to make or not make; however, somehow when I lay everything before God he gives me a peace that I do not, and cannot find, by myself. The theme of a journey is that I am continuing my walk with Christ and learning what that means within my life, and in my relationships with God and with others; that God guides me and I follow. However, following also means trusting and having faith, which in the last few years have become such real struggles in my Christian walk because I am no longer under the "protection" of my parents and now must truly begin to learn what it means to have God as my Father, and also have God as my friend.

Wait for the LORD;
be strong and take heart
and wait for the LORD.

Psalm 27:14

The journey is also about balance, for no one goes on a hike without rest, nor would they get anywhere without struggling at times and even falling down from the occasional stumble. But a person striving to finish the journey, to meet the goal, will always dust themselves off and continue, continue because they know that what lies ahead, while now unknown, is greater than what is behind them.

I suppose these are just some thoughts I felt I wanted to let out for some reason. Perhaps anyone out there struggling with trusting God will find they are not alone. Maybe another will re-think what it means to be a Christian. For me, the theme of Journey means that I am following Christ, through thick and thin, believing and trusting that in the end God loves me and knows what is best for me... and that, in fact, God is on this journey with me, alongside me as my God and as my friend, so that I am not alone.

~ Daniel

Pic:
http://www.carolinapathways.org/images/pathway.jpg