I say all of this as a back-story to an experience that happened this past week… and I am almost there. Two important things happened this last week that had begun to help me with these thoughts of my inevitable future, which has been bringing me serous worry and doubt. First, I totally started reading the book of Jeremiah. This is a prophet of God I feel a kindred spirit too, as he cries out to God constantly that he feels unworthy for such a position and God continually is telling Jeremiah to move forward with his word. Second, I totally bought “This is our God” by Hillsong, a CD that gave me so much more comfort than I thought it would.
So, then Sunday comes.. And then Sunday night. And Bam!, I felt the Holy Spirit Sunday night at my church like never before in my life. Sure I have felt the Holy Spirit before in times of worship, in the need to pray for someone at the alter occasionally; however, this was something drastically different. I felt the Holy Spirit move in a way that night that made me feel as if I was actually a minister; that I was bold and compassionate; yet it was not something of me but from God. It is so very hard to explain in words. But beyond that, I felt and saw the Holy Spirit moving in my church in a way that I rarely see or feel (especially in the Baptist church). I saw my church truly as a family, as a community of brothers and sister praying and encouraging one another… and would you believe it was not something scripted on the worship bulletin. This experience gave me hope, not just for my own future, wherever God may lead me, but also for the universal church. I came out of that service different; I came out comforted and peaceful somehow. Many things were put into perspective and hope was restored in my own heart.
There are details to this experience I have left out, for privacy issues and for my own reasons. I may tell my closest friends more details in person or by some type of message.
After a few days of pondering this event, I have hit two questions. The first is something I have been thinking about over the last few months: Where is celebration in our churches? I mean, we are a part of the Kingdom of God and sometimes we seem more dead than alive in Christ (even myself I admit). The second question is this: Where is the room for the Holy Spirit in our churches (among those denominations that do not emphasize that part of the Trinity)? I do not think it should be over-emphasized, but in the Baptist churches I have been a part of, it seems to be squashed sometimes into submission to our worship order and meetings. Where is the balance between having no room and too much room? Well, this turned out totally longer than I expected… chew on some of the verse below.
But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. - 2nd Corinthians 12:9-10~ Daniel
Pic 1: Me
Pic 2: http://heartofflesh.files.wordpress.com/2007/09/holy-spirit.jpg
