Enter In

Yesterday in chapel at my seminary we had small groups, which I almost did not attend because it is about prayer. Prayer has been a hard concept for me lately, because I feel like I have been crying out to God but have not received clear answers. I am not saying I do not believe, nor am I saying I never doubt, but I just feel like things are blurry, vague, and unclear to me. I know one day I will look back and know this is where I was supposed to be; however, for those who are going through tough or confusing times, it is never easy and always hard, something of a terrible struggle that test our faith, trust in God, and ability to persevere despite the darkness we perceive around us.

Go to the Link below (open in a new tab/window):
http://www.mycatholicvoice.com/media/view/McCROJ

Press play on the song, and then continue reading...

... So, I pushed myself to go to chapel, because I know we should push ourselves into situations that make us uncomfortable, it is the only way we ever really grow I think. And after such nudges, I am always happy and glad I did. In small groups we talked about music and its affects on us, especially in regard to our prayer life. I spoke of how music speaks when we cannot speak, puts lyrics to music and opens the gates of emotions, of joys, of fears, of gladness, of tears. I also find music to be worshipful, sometimes stopping what I am doing when a song really speaks, almost being paralyzed by the truth found within, quieting myself in the penetrating presence of God that may come over me, even if for one song.

Then we listened to a Gregorian chant (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gregorian_chant). I was surprised how quickly the song, the music spoke to me. Even though the lyrics were in another language (Latin I believe), I was brought to the idea of God's beauty and the blessings he has given us, and has given me. From there I was taken in my mind's eye to stained-glassed windows, cathedrals, and dim candle-light; however, it did not end there.

I was then taken to images of a forest in the spring with a breeze, a gentle waterfall in the background. I was taken to images of the fall when leaves are changing and falling back and forth in the wind until they touch the ground ever so softly. I found myself in the winter-cold on mountain tops where everything was covered with snow. I found myself in a place of dry cliffs and canyons with the clouds rolling by, sometimes giving shadow and sometime giving light.

Then the music stopped and I was brought back to the present... and in so little time I felt my sense of peace begin to drop again as my life came back into view. I felt and feel like I had to leave that beauty, leave those images behind and return to my real life. It is sad that we do not associate the beauty of God or the beauty of creation with our real life. There seems no time to sit and view these scenes, hear the breeze rustling through the leaves, or listen to the birds chirping. We are all busy, rushing through life but not necessarily enjoying it. It is sad how programmed we are and we have no idea the constraints that are put on us by society and by self. Christ is here to break those chains I think, to set us free, not just spiritually but so that now we can truly see the world for what it is, see who we truly are, and everything is seen in a whole new way.

I wish I could say having Christ in my heart fills be with constant joy but it does not most of the time, not because salvation is not a great (the greatest!) gift but sometimes life just seems to grip me and pull me into its chaotic thoughts and ways. I struggle against pessimism and push toward optimism, wanting to dream while wanting to be real about things at the same time. Progress is never easy and is a very long process, one in which we are constantly changed by Christ, shedding of parts of the old and revealing aspect of the new.

Blessings,
~ Daniel

Pic:
http://www.jenniferfarley.info/wp-content/uploads/2008/04/stained-glass-window1.jpg
http://www.1adventure.com/archives/images/new-cathedral-salamanca-spain-bw-lowres.jpg

Links:
http://www.mycatholicvoice.com/media/?query=gregorian%20chant
http://www.mycatholicvoice.com/media/view/xawrKy
http://www.mycatholicvoice.com/media/view/mNK76l
http://www.mycatholicvoice.com/media/view/tpxnRo

Friendship

 

"Friendship is a term used to denote co-operative and supportive behavior between two or more beings. In this sense, the term connotes a relationship which involves mutual knowledge, esteem, and affection and respect along with a degree of rendering service to friends in times of need or crisis. Friends will welcome each other's company and exhibit loyalty towards each other, often to the point of altruism. Their tastes will usually be similar and may converge, and they will share enjoyable activities. They will also engage in mutually helping behavior, such as exchange of advice and the sharing of hardship. A friend is someone who may often demonstrate reciprocating and reflective behaviors. Yet for many, friendship is nothing more than the trust that someone or something will not harm them."(1)

I have been thinking a lot about friendship lately, how simple and complex friendship can be sometimes. How great it can be to have someone who we feel really knows us, who is connected to us... and other times how complicated it seems to navigate those friendships within life, whether it is our own inability to function as ones friend or their inability to continue functioning with us on the level of friend. Some friendships last a long time while many of them seem to only last for a season.

How people even become friends sometimes seems to make absolutely no sense logically. Why do we decide to talk to the person on our left rather than our right? Why do some connect with us on this level of friend instead of the level of merely acquaintance? As a person who only has a few close friends, I cherish the friendships I have, seeing them as a blessing from God with the ability to offer both companionship and great joy to my own life (hopefully to my friends life as well).

In general, what is friendship anyway, except a commitment to relationship between two people? Even if that commitment is unspoken, it is said by actions and by responses. Otherwise wouldn’t they only be an acquaintance? In friendship, there is a communication, commitment, and reciprocity that is vital to the continuing of that relationship and its function between the two people involved. If one person changes, either the relationship will change or it will dissolve. Mostly there are two choices in any friendship at any time: the first is the continuing growth and vitality of the friendship while the second is the decline and dissolving of that friendship until there is (practically) nothing is left.

"In emulating [Jesus] one loves not only those deserving of love, but all in the company, lovable or not…. This sounds like what Aristotle and Aquinas called 'benevolentia', the love that wills another’s good. It comes from the stance of one situated above. In contrast is the love of desire, 'concupiscentia', in which one hopes to gain something from the person loved. Its primary motive is need of fulfillment. Better than both is 'amicitia', the love of friendship. That term sounds pallid [or dull] to our modern ear, but the teachers who made the distinction ranked it as the highest of the three. It is the love God had for us and it puts us on par with God. This is the agape of the New Testament."(2)

~ Daniel

(1) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Friendship
(2) Gail R. O’Day. “The Gospel of John: Introduction, Commentary, and Reflection,” in the New Interpreters Bible. (Nashville: Abingdon, 1995), 756.

Interesting Articles about Friendship:
http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/index.php?term=20061102-000001&page=1
http://www.ehow.com/how_2004357_repair-friendship.html
http://www.cyberparent.com/friendship/maintain.htm
http://www.burnsurvivorsttw.org/stories/friendship.html

Others:
http://blog.christianitytoday.com/giftedforleadership/2008/10/whats_missing_in_friendship.html
http://blog.todayschristianwoman.com/walkwithme/2008/10/the_friendship_secret.html

Pic:
http://www.desicomments.com/uploads/2008/02/friendship-graphics1.jpg