Flaw of Online Communication

This is something that has been bothering me for a while now, increasingly as I see it cause conflict in my own life. Here I am in the online universe, I am on Facebook and have about 300 friends but how many of them, how many of you all do I truly know? In all reality I would probably have closer to 400-500 friends if I didn’t go though and delete people I never talked to or only met once, those random people who add you but then never speak to you or reply to your messages. I may be more introverted than extroverted, so communicating online does help to some extent because it gives me time to think about my words, to choose them carefully, though I try not to obsess over what I say or write. If I do, I normally do not post it or come back to it later. So what is this flaw? What is this huge negative thing about communicating online with things like e-mail, Facebook, twitter, and the like?

Face-to-face contact... Yes, actually speaking and communicating to people to their face. First the problem came with cell phone, then the ability to text, and now it’s the new smart phones - no one is ever paying attention to anyone else. All our free space in our time is not spent pondering what we will do later or taking time to observe and notice others, maybe strike up a random conversation with a stranger. No, instead it is spent pulling out our phones to call or text someone, to check Facebook, or play games. Our associations with others have gone from real to digital, digital with a profile pic next to it; and instead of a living personality it is all texting and online messages. We are missing people and each other and in doing this we are beginning to miss and loose ourselves.

Yes, I admit I am a Facebook addict. Luckily it would cost me more to have a new phone and internet so my phone is simple and I do not have the ability to be an addict online while I am at work or away from my home computer, so that helps - but I am still online when I am at home. I see the status updates and news-feeds rolling by and I message people about how life is going and ask if they want to hang out. Sometimes I would just prefer to speak to people on the phone but would really enjoy actually to be in the presence of other people. We are all not connected but disconnected somehow. In some way we all know one another but truly know no one at all. If we don’t take this seriously now and set out space and time for real in-person relationships when will it stop? How will it be in 5 or 20 years when technology keeps growing and expanding?

The final problem with communicating online is that it also brings out our insecurities sometimes, usually by accident. Little status updates tell our personal thoughts, blogs/notes show our inner thoughts broadcasted to the world, and regular flaws in communication between personality types and the sexes in general are intensified. Online there is no tone, no inflection, no facial recognition or body language to express what the other person is saying. All we have are words, which studies show are only 7% of communication, so by communicating online we miss about 93% of what is being communicated (http://www.robertphipps.com/articles/body-language-facts-and-stat-s.html).

In the end what I am saying is this: Ponder calling someone, or even better, attempting to hang out with other people, real and in-person. Is that hard to imagine? Why? In addition, when you hang out turn your cell-hone off or on silent (NOT VIBRATE) and if you cant resist the urge to check it every three seconds then leave it in your car or go without it for one day. Instead of letting technology control you why you don’t you try controlling it. Learn some self-control, learn not to be rude to others in person by checking you phone every five seconds, and learn to value the quality of the time when you are with a group or someone one-on-one. Let’s bring back real friendships, intimate relationships, ones that exist face to face and not merely online... not merely chatting across the digital spectrum of cyberspace

Lets Live Life in Creation again
And Live Life in the Digital a little less

~ Daniel
Additional Articles/info:
http://www.helpguide.org/mental/eq6_nonverbal_communication.htm
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/7898510.stm
http://media.www.tcudailyskiff.com/media/storage/paper792/news/2009/10/02/News/Text-Messaging.Could.Hurt.Ability.To.Read.Nonverbal.Cues-3790853.shtml
http://www.alternet.org/media/95629?page=entire
http://www.healthadel.com/internet-addiction-in-teens-with-psychosocial-disorders/

Thank You Friend

Hello Friend,

Every so often I sit am amazed at my life, those people in it who help me through the tough and rough times, as well as, laugh with me during the funny ones. This happened twice this past Sunday, once at Pioneer in Sunday School, Worship, and the new Members lunch and then again that night at a small group I am apart of at First Baptist Church. Sometimes I feel down but am happy to know I have people who support and encourage me here in Abilene, both spiritually and emotionally. I have good friends and most of them are not fickle, even if we are not best friends, I feel they see a part of me - one seeking Christ.

Sometimes though, I try not to be overly spiritual (or come across that way at least). As a called-minister or older-christian I never want to think or even act like I have all the answers. Last night at the small group we were talking about gifts and while I know I do have the spiritual gift of pastor/shepherd it is something I haven't really got to develop a lot, not in the ways I would have liked thus far. I have more developed myself through teaching, discernment, encouragement along with trying to work on my abilities in music. However, writing is something that has become a passion of mine, something that has developed since middle school, which was also the exact time I began to feel a call to ministry. Apparently, from what I have read in Adam McHugh's book "Introverts in the Church", people who are more introverted express their thoughts better through writing and also normally have a sort of spiritual journal, something else I have been doing either on paper or online since my freshmen year in college sometime in 2001-2002. I actually have about seven full notebooks now... Somehow my blogs/notes have crossed between something of my everyday experiences and those spiritual journal entries I would write. Sometimes I am not sure if I am too personal or too open, other times not open enough. Especially when it comes to your personal experiences with sin, specifically secret sins, it is difficult to express the agony and anguish one deals with when they try to follow Christ and lay behind the gossip, slander, malice, lust, anger, bitterness, pride, envy, jealousy, their past... and all the other little and big things that keep us from God and hinder our growth.

I guess I write this to say thank you to all my friends who are there for me, who see me in a way that not many people see others anymore today. You don't just see me online or through a text or just through a phone call but as a brother in Christ, as a fellow Christ-follower. And even if I don't say it often I am truly thankful and want you to know that I pray for every one of you... maybe not every day but I am mindful of you and pray for your growth and that you find your gifts and use them for God's glory, finding a niche, a ministry, some outlet to let the light of Christ shine through you.

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. -Hebrews 12:1

Your Brother in Christ,
Daniel