Flaw of Online Communication

This is something that has been bothering me for a while now, increasingly as I see it cause conflict in my own life. Here I am in the online universe, I am on Facebook and have about 300 friends but how many of them, how many of you all do I truly know? In all reality I would probably have closer to 400-500 friends if I didn’t go though and delete people I never talked to or only met once, those random people who add you but then never speak to you or reply to your messages. I may be more introverted than extroverted, so communicating online does help to some extent because it gives me time to think about my words, to choose them carefully, though I try not to obsess over what I say or write. If I do, I normally do not post it or come back to it later. So what is this flaw? What is this huge negative thing about communicating online with things like e-mail, Facebook, twitter, and the like?

Face-to-face contact... Yes, actually speaking and communicating to people to their face. First the problem came with cell phone, then the ability to text, and now it’s the new smart phones - no one is ever paying attention to anyone else. All our free space in our time is not spent pondering what we will do later or taking time to observe and notice others, maybe strike up a random conversation with a stranger. No, instead it is spent pulling out our phones to call or text someone, to check Facebook, or play games. Our associations with others have gone from real to digital, digital with a profile pic next to it; and instead of a living personality it is all texting and online messages. We are missing people and each other and in doing this we are beginning to miss and loose ourselves.

Yes, I admit I am a Facebook addict. Luckily it would cost me more to have a new phone and internet so my phone is simple and I do not have the ability to be an addict online while I am at work or away from my home computer, so that helps - but I am still online when I am at home. I see the status updates and news-feeds rolling by and I message people about how life is going and ask if they want to hang out. Sometimes I would just prefer to speak to people on the phone but would really enjoy actually to be in the presence of other people. We are all not connected but disconnected somehow. In some way we all know one another but truly know no one at all. If we don’t take this seriously now and set out space and time for real in-person relationships when will it stop? How will it be in 5 or 20 years when technology keeps growing and expanding?

The final problem with communicating online is that it also brings out our insecurities sometimes, usually by accident. Little status updates tell our personal thoughts, blogs/notes show our inner thoughts broadcasted to the world, and regular flaws in communication between personality types and the sexes in general are intensified. Online there is no tone, no inflection, no facial recognition or body language to express what the other person is saying. All we have are words, which studies show are only 7% of communication, so by communicating online we miss about 93% of what is being communicated (http://www.robertphipps.com/articles/body-language-facts-and-stat-s.html).

In the end what I am saying is this: Ponder calling someone, or even better, attempting to hang out with other people, real and in-person. Is that hard to imagine? Why? In addition, when you hang out turn your cell-hone off or on silent (NOT VIBRATE) and if you cant resist the urge to check it every three seconds then leave it in your car or go without it for one day. Instead of letting technology control you why you don’t you try controlling it. Learn some self-control, learn not to be rude to others in person by checking you phone every five seconds, and learn to value the quality of the time when you are with a group or someone one-on-one. Let’s bring back real friendships, intimate relationships, ones that exist face to face and not merely online... not merely chatting across the digital spectrum of cyberspace

Lets Live Life in Creation again
And Live Life in the Digital a little less

~ Daniel
Additional Articles/info:
http://www.helpguide.org/mental/eq6_nonverbal_communication.htm
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/7898510.stm
http://media.www.tcudailyskiff.com/media/storage/paper792/news/2009/10/02/News/Text-Messaging.Could.Hurt.Ability.To.Read.Nonverbal.Cues-3790853.shtml
http://www.alternet.org/media/95629?page=entire
http://www.healthadel.com/internet-addiction-in-teens-with-psychosocial-disorders/