I was watching a video on YouTube this morning in which two females were doing a video chat about self-image issues. At one point in the video the one who was larger spoke about accepting how this is who she is and that there are men who find her attractive, basically she accepts herself as overweight, someone who deserves to be loved for who she is inside.
My response: Yes AND No.
Harsh Truths Coming...
Yes, you deserve to be respected as a human but no, self-acceptance is no reason to justify being overweight. I understand the struggle. I was 325 lbs at one point, am now 100 lbs down, and still have some more weight to go until I reach my goal.
We are the sum of our choices.
I felt the same way for so long. I thought others would and should love me for who I am, not for how I look. But in all honesty, I was lying to myself, trying to justify my poor choices; choices of not exercising, not eating right, and basically not caring for my health and well-being.
I told myself that I was just a person with a larger body structure, that there are women who would find me attractive for who I was inside and on the outside.
But here is what I found out:
Losing weight set me on a course of self-revelation. I found that as I lost weight, not only did others see me and associate with me more, but I also gained greater confidence in the process. I found out I could tackle a huge obstacle and succeed. This was something I did on my own, something I decided for myself to change.
Losing weight taught me that there might be some other aspects of myself to work on as well, like taking more risks and stretching myself. Over the course of the last few years I have tried to do things that challenge me and pull me outside of the box I was stuck inside for years, most notably moving out of state for work, being more intentional about meeting others, and regarding dating.
However, weight is not the only issues this is affected by this idea of “complete self-acceptance”, because there are many other areas where we as people tend to place blame on others instead of being proactive ourselves.
One can say: I shouldn’t have to buy an alarm system or lock my door because people shouldn’t steal. I shouldn’t have to wear certain clothes because people should control themselves. I should be able to walk alone at night because people shouldn’t want to take advantage of another simply because it is dark.
The truth is bad people exist, temptations exist, sin and evil are very real. We would be wise to learn to be both defensive and offensive about life, protecting ourselves from others who may harm us and using it as a way to do some difficult but needed self-critiquing as well.
I found this out by losing weight, by taking control of a part of my life I felt I had no control over, something that seemed impossible but I decided was important to change. I now am a better person physically and emotionally, not to mention spiritually for tackling this issue.
So, while self-acceptance and self-worth do matter, these things should never be an excuse to keep harming ourselves, to continue bad habits, or to treat others in a poor manner, stating “this is who I am, like me or don’t like me, I don’t care.”
Hear me when I say this: If you do not care, others will likely not care.
Apathy is a life-stealing characteristic.
However, being engaging, challenging, passionate, focused, and purposeful; these are qualities we should all have and develop.
If we care for our self and are working toward betting ourselves, others will see that, appreciate us, and desire to be around us.
Have you ever dealt with weight?
Have you dealt with self-image/self-acceptance issues? How so?
Do you find yourself apathetic toward life or in pursuit of it?
~ Daniel Brockhan
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